


Without You

by IAmStoryteller



Series: Never Practical [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin, DC Comics, Marvel Comics - Fandom, Shazam (Comics)
Genre: M/M, set in a world where marvel and dc heroes always coexisted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 22:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2245026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmStoryteller/pseuds/IAmStoryteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing Damian was one of the worst travesties in his life.  Realizing that he was in love with his best friend, Billy has a hard time moving on.  Three months after Damian’s death, that changes…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

His life fell into a mundane sort of existence. He got visitors. Bruce, Clark, Steve, Tony and variety of the older heroes came to see him, attempt pep talks. The only time he left the house was to be Captain Marvel. Saving people was the only thing he really cared about right now. Luckily he was taking classes all on online (much easier than trying to go college classes, with his responsibilities).

Mary couldn’t even drag him out of his apartment. There had been many times in his life that he wanted to give up into the despair that was handed out so frequently in his life. He handle losing his parents, his sister (but he got her back), being a superhero at seven, the battles, the nightmares, gaining friends and allies, losing friends and allies.

But, his heart was ripped out at the news that Damian had been killed. God, he wasn’t even with him at the last moments. What kind of best friend was he? Sure, he had been dealing with another scheme of Sivana, which nearly torched Fawcett City to the ground, but this was Damian. Damian, his sarcastic, prickly best friend, with who Billy spent pretty much all his free time and Damian who believed in him.

The news that he had been killed by one of the League of Assassins’ schemes, told straight from Bruce’s mouth, made Billy want to go and destroy the entire League of Assassins. He could do it. No one could stop him, save Diana or Clark. None of the Avengers would stand a chance against him. Or the X-Men. But Diana and Clark were more experienced and Diana could still kick his ass.

But he didn’t. Bruce promised that the League of Assassins would come to justice. Bruce had more right than Billy to go on a revenge spree.

Still did not make it hurt less.

His life was surprisingly empty without Damian. He hadn’t realized how much Damian meant to him.

Just last month, he had come to the realization that he was in love with Damian and he was strangely okay with the news. It probably explained why he turned down every girl that ever asked him out on a date.

Three months since Damian was gone and Billy still reeling. 

His phone rang thirty times a day from various friends, to check up on him. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.

It was about ten in the morning and he was eating cereal out of the box, reading class notes for a test tomorrow. His cell phone rang.

It was Mary. He ignored it.

Then, Dick called. Ignored it.

Bruce called. Let it go to voicemail.

Then, he shut off his phone. He went back to reading his notes.

Time passed slowly now for him, but then someone pounded on his door. Billy sighed and put his laptop on the coffee table. He dragged himself to the door.

“What,” Billy asked, irritably.

He dropped his box of cereal.

Damian looked equally as irritated as Billy did. Damian stood in front of him. Damian was taller than him. He had been since they were seventeen years old and he had a growth spurt. Damian was wearing his usual jeans and his favorite black and yellow jacket.

“Do you not answer your freaking phone anymore,” demanded Damian, in the same superior tone as always. 

Billy’s heart surge with unbridled joy. His Damian was alive. Before he could stop himself, Billy grabbed Damian into a tight hug. Startled, Damian hugged back. It was rare that Damian returned a hug. Billy did not want to let go. Damian did not seem to either.

“I guess you missed me,” he said, pulling away after a couple of minutes. Billy, then, punched him in the face. Damian let him get that punch in, Billy knew it.

“What the fuck? It tore my heart out that you died, you jackass! Of course, I missed you. I missed you more than you will ever know. Don’t you dare die on me again,” yelled Billy. The surge of anger faded. Damian held his chin. 

“I was not dead,” said Damian, admitted. “I faked my death to settle things against my grandfather and mother. Father did not even know.” Billy glared at him. He had not been dead? “I know. You’re going to mad about that for a long time, but I could not risk my father and my best friend seemingly be fine if I was ‘dead.’ I am sorry that I put you through so much.”

“Jerk,” muttered Billy. Damian knew he was forgiven, it was always that easy. Billy couldn’t stay mad too long at Damian. He did apologize and Damian rarely apologized.

Damian entered the apartment and shut the door. He eyed Billy. “Father-Father said that he was really worried about you. Have you not been taking care of yourself?”

Billy shrugged. He didn’t want to tell Damian how he fell to pieces with him gone. “I was fine.”

“Billy, don’t lie,” said Damian, arms crossed, worried icy blue eyes staring into his own baby blue eyes. Billy closed his eyes.

“It was really hard. You don’t know,” his voice started breaking. He was not going to cry again, Damnit! He cried so much these last three months than he ever did in the previous years of his life. He sat on his couch. “You were gone, I thought. I was never going to see you again. I couldn’t stand it, being around everybody with the stares of pity.”

Damian sat next to him, “I never meant…I mean, I did not know that you cared about me so much so that…” Damian was never good at feelings. “Did you get my letter?”

“I did.”

Billy had it memorized, burned into his memory.

‘Billy,

By the time you figured out what happened, you are going to be beyond mad with me. Understandable. With my death, my parents will no longer war with each other, one will finally get the other. The al Ghul line will end with me, but you already know all this. I should have told you what I was planning but I knew you would try and talk me out of it. Please try to look after my family, especially Alfred the Cat, Titus and the Bat-Cow.

Billy, I hated you when I first met you when we were seven years old, but that changed fast. You have that effect on people. You’re my best friend, the one person in the world that never judged me, never thought I was not good enough to be Robin or Batman’s son, the one person in the world that understood me. Without your friendship, I fear I might have gone down a darker path.

Mother may have given me life and Father taught me how to live, but you showed me how to be a better person.

It’s never goodbye between us, it was an honor,  
Damian’

Damian spoke, faltering. “I-I wanted to tell you more than that, but even writing it words would never show you how I really felt. I tried…”

“I know. It’s never goodbye,” said Billy, softly. Then it clicked—what Damian was saying, trying to say to him. “Damian, I love you more than anything in the world. Without you by my side, it felt like my life wasn’t worth living.”

Damian’s eyes widened. “Your life is worth everything. You are not allowed to think that way. It was hard for me too. Without you, it was hard to say centered. I told you that you made me a better person, I meant it. I have been in love with you for a long time now.”

“Damian, you jerk, would you just kiss me already?”


End file.
